words and status of me

we the users of computer know what to expect about computers we use for all purposes that our intellect is capable of

like subservient dog it watches us and the purposes of uses it is meant for

i watch me for the purpose i may still useful and how inclined i am

i am not getting the remote jobs i am looking for I am looking for remote assignments

some years back chhorda turned down assignments saying he is not physically fit

i have similar kind of words from my creator - certified not fit for travel

yet i give interviews for assignment remote or travel. local assignments are not suitable at all. columbus jobs are does not need completion and do not need people who is more inclined to purpose of doing that is more than salary or clerkship.

I have an interview that i am postponing since it is more than 6 hours travel. i have finished one interview with perhaps another meeting require traveling 2 hours. the assignment need weekly 9 hours travel. question is if i am capable of doing that. another talk did not go any further since i am not capable of making 14 hours traveling.

i discuss me and my family country and environment with absolute candidness - i am certified to do the same no matter what it may entail.

By now i know my vocabulary is very limited si8nce i assume meanings of words that passes for my composed sentences without my eyebrows. quite frankly i do not know. we spend may be about 3 plus hours on weekdays with a boy who makes intelligent conversations with me using gestures and some sounds. his name is cole.

this elaborate introduction is for some words i am going to use that may not be quite understood by me - they describe my status

i am sleeping when I am not aware of my surrounding

i am dreaming when i am not aware of surrounding but aware some surrounding that is composed from my memory

i am hypnotized to carry out instruction and yet unaware of my senses. is it subconscious?

i am awake when I am aware of my surrounding with my senses and reacting. is it conscious?

playing this word game - i hear something called superconscious status. I am aware of my surrounding but do not react with reason perhaps - that all available options of reactions is not enjoyable from current enjoyment. I am seeing and enjoying and my intellect tells me there is no need for further imagined future pleasure. in a way all my knowledge is not required for my enjoyment.

this last status is not achieved by hard work but mere laziness to think or imagine or making oneself comfortable for senses

is it apex of one's intellectual ability?

no words makes sense for my intellect

no senses no thoughts makes any sense for my intellect i pass - i let go of me

is it possible to go to antarctica unless it truly exists always

am i certified driver for road worthiness

can thought change my status? is there any reason to think about me or my status or status change? which status is better?

what is matter? what exposes the matter? light? is it word? why? why should i care what i think or about what I think?

except for the light all is dark

can dark exist without light
can light exist without light

what is the background that holds four status of me and the darkness

in the hilltop of chittaranjan there was a water tank where cleaned chlorinated water for drinking was stored for distribution. on the top of the hill there was a shade and shelter. From where the landscape of chittaranjan could be seen. from the circular shade - there were 360 arrows showing distance of named famous objects in the world - cities etc. on the roof of the shade there was a rotating light with many shades - seven, that composes rainbows of sunlight. This can be seen appearing in sequence every few seconds at night from anywhere in Chittaranjan.

what is my coordinate no matter where I am? Absolute absent or unknown.
what is coordinate of any known object no matter where from absolute or the known unknown   ~ this the map of my world.

are NOT all and none of them is me? Is not the map of my world in me?

Can i, absolute or unknown, be moved within the map?

Can I be seen? Shown, defended, offended, prevented, proven by any known object?

Am I not all!!!!

I am all. I am solely responsible for all and for all time. I bear all as is and or otherwise.

[all without exception ~ death senility excitement depression strain attraction repulsion honor gain boredom inability good bad disability ability fear shame hate abnormality loss jealousy conviction discrimination pain disease discomfort poverty hunger thirst poison suffocation madness heat cold rain .... homeless penniless coverless aidless friendless kinless .... ]

I am silent or absent always. I am without coordinate at the heart of all.