measuring me

as a child I was very fond of reading biographies. before i could read i was fond of stories of children and characters from puranas sitting on my mother's lap looking at night sky of stars. I had blessed childhood no wonder i would like to return to the same and remain there.

My hero worship and dream as a being wee different then from now.

i measured myself as 1 in scale of 1 to 10 and 1 being the lowest and 10 being highest.  I gave 10 to Yudhisthira, Arjuna 3, Karna 7, Rama 9, Laksmana 5, Bali 10 etc. Krishna i did not like and did not measure. When I started reading biographies - I gave 10 to Edison, Newton 7, Kepler 8, Einstein 3, Bell 5 etc.

As a young man when I was addicted to writers and their writings I started grading holimen - i gave Valmiki 10, Vyasa 10, Shankara 9, Ramakrishna 6, Zorba 10, Vivekananda 3,  Theauro 5, Osho 4 etc.

Then I met a living real without name ~ Him I gave Number 10. I spent time with him and looking him over for 4 hours. I listened to what he said. I had gone ver he said million times.

I have given 10 to a young man of 20s whom I met off and on about 20 times. He was in fine health naked and lived under railway bridge of Vadodara station. Never talked. Sometimes I saw him near food stall. I did not see him begging.

Somehow my measure of me is still 1.

I have one other measure of me that has not changed in 35 years. My learned wife is an MA in Bengali from Calcutta University. She has goodness certificate from  RK Mission Shopping Center. She is raised by a supremely cultured family from Agarata and now resident of Kolkata. She measures me everyday and it is constant 0 meaning without any worth. And my parents at negative.