human
I am told there is no organism in this planet more fortunate than human.
with their 4 limbs and five fingers and over sized brain five or six senses they can predict plan and execute. only achievement they have not listed so far is conquering their death, senility, disease, discomfort.
I have been watching a serial of human endurance. They travel into unknown future without destination for new land for many thousand miles in boats and sails all hand constructed knowing fully well they shall never return. They predicted their success even if that ends with inevitable failure.
Human as if has indefinite time to live but no time to waste with known.
There are lands in the making - tsunami volcanic eruptions are causes. Organisms thrown into the land by typhoons and survive. Human come here on their own in search of unknown. The motivation is no longer riches.
will human colonize outside planet earth. the senses that we are equipped with is it sufficient. can we create earth like atmosphere for survival or comfort in distant land separated by spaces.
i had a unique problem as a human - it is not discovery of place but space where none conceivably inhabit.
I alone can inhabit space here and now. I have no need!
it is my end
It definitely intellectual exercise.
What is my aim of life?
Of course I cannot change it now. I was set long ago into motion. The bait is my freedom from all human needs. I sought friends and companions but then gave the chase up soon very soon. In days. My limits were reached. Love and sweet talks is not reason of my life. No matter how urgent is pleasure. I do not entertain it myself nor do I encourage in others surrounding me.
I know the theory too well. The permanent home is akasha - space empty is necessary or sufficient for me. I am truth - the fish can only live in empty space and not in planet earth or solar system or universe of my senses and their intellectual extensions by mine or man-made hypotheses. It is unsustainable. Like fish out of water - I cannot live forever using my intellect!
I remember my struggle for existence in Sarvodaya Enclave. It was perhaps some days but not exceeding 10 days. I was famished tired watching time for something to happen and my release. Only live thing was TV. I had no food and no capacity to go out and fetch food. There is no way I could get out of my house. I was deluded into believing that I was being forced relaxation. I got some sleep at last after many a sleepless days and night. Next morning again was delusion. This time is break out into world as defying rebel. Once twice third time. I go the attention needed. Finally I got out. It took another 24 hours. I was in the safe hands of Chandra and Amuda. I did get food and sleep, perhaps via medicine. However I was quite mad mostly silent but imagining my success. Still believing in telepathy etc.I slowly recovered in next 10 days from my delusion. I moved back to Sarvodaya Enclave with reduced fear. Another two months and Chicken Pox. I came back to game playing. Without job.
In the whole episode I was little stronger in my faith of self sufficiency. Although I was not very sure of the umbrella I so often talk about now. I had courage to live without support. This courage has not left me till today. I am living now 35 years into wilderness alone without support. Faced many a battle alone and alone and alone. Without God or grace of God!
I shall never get respect or honor. I know. My life of struggle living without support shall continue till I am dead and my body is disposed of.
There is a win however. I have not compromised. DEATH FIRST. I PREVENT NOTHING.
I do not ask. I risk my all this moment and always.
I am success. I am still living. I do not know how long. I do not optimize. I do not assume.
I am my creator. I take all my decisions and never explain.
with their 4 limbs and five fingers and over sized brain five or six senses they can predict plan and execute. only achievement they have not listed so far is conquering their death, senility, disease, discomfort.
I have been watching a serial of human endurance. They travel into unknown future without destination for new land for many thousand miles in boats and sails all hand constructed knowing fully well they shall never return. They predicted their success even if that ends with inevitable failure.
Human as if has indefinite time to live but no time to waste with known.
There are lands in the making - tsunami volcanic eruptions are causes. Organisms thrown into the land by typhoons and survive. Human come here on their own in search of unknown. The motivation is no longer riches.
will human colonize outside planet earth. the senses that we are equipped with is it sufficient. can we create earth like atmosphere for survival or comfort in distant land separated by spaces.
i had a unique problem as a human - it is not discovery of place but space where none conceivably inhabit.
I alone can inhabit space here and now. I have no need!
it is my end
It definitely intellectual exercise.
What is my aim of life?
Of course I cannot change it now. I was set long ago into motion. The bait is my freedom from all human needs. I sought friends and companions but then gave the chase up soon very soon. In days. My limits were reached. Love and sweet talks is not reason of my life. No matter how urgent is pleasure. I do not entertain it myself nor do I encourage in others surrounding me.
I know the theory too well. The permanent home is akasha - space empty is necessary or sufficient for me. I am truth - the fish can only live in empty space and not in planet earth or solar system or universe of my senses and their intellectual extensions by mine or man-made hypotheses. It is unsustainable. Like fish out of water - I cannot live forever using my intellect!
I remember my struggle for existence in Sarvodaya Enclave. It was perhaps some days but not exceeding 10 days. I was famished tired watching time for something to happen and my release. Only live thing was TV. I had no food and no capacity to go out and fetch food. There is no way I could get out of my house. I was deluded into believing that I was being forced relaxation. I got some sleep at last after many a sleepless days and night. Next morning again was delusion. This time is break out into world as defying rebel. Once twice third time. I go the attention needed. Finally I got out. It took another 24 hours. I was in the safe hands of Chandra and Amuda. I did get food and sleep, perhaps via medicine. However I was quite mad mostly silent but imagining my success. Still believing in telepathy etc.I slowly recovered in next 10 days from my delusion. I moved back to Sarvodaya Enclave with reduced fear. Another two months and Chicken Pox. I came back to game playing. Without job.
In the whole episode I was little stronger in my faith of self sufficiency. Although I was not very sure of the umbrella I so often talk about now. I had courage to live without support. This courage has not left me till today. I am living now 35 years into wilderness alone without support. Faced many a battle alone and alone and alone. Without God or grace of God!
I shall never get respect or honor. I know. My life of struggle living without support shall continue till I am dead and my body is disposed of.
There is a win however. I have not compromised. DEATH FIRST. I PREVENT NOTHING.
I do not ask. I risk my all this moment and always.
I am success. I am still living. I do not know how long. I do not optimize. I do not assume.
I am my creator. I take all my decisions and never explain.
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