21 days limit

After god realization i am told that only 21 days left to live

so in other words one can be god for 21 days only and that is of no merit

i have some desire still left

i was sick when i heard joya uttered that cecilia should be taken to psychiatrist while i know her family - all of them mad and lying and cheating and beyond treatment i am eyewitness - everyday i hear her disgusting utterances that cannot be said among lowest - always vulgar sex and curses involving abuses. I have seen at least 10 girls under her care till she got rid off all of them. she cannot hold her temper with any girl above 3 years old. Joya comes from mentally sick family.

I put off this writing. I am not clever enough to supercede my creator. I do not wish Cecilia to be here even for a single day under her torture. She is too beautiful and well behaved to be deranged by her. God bless Cecilia and she will grow up to be a fine lady.

Yes I have no need for me for anybody. I do not mind if I die in next 21 days.

I am my creator. I am all without exception - good bad ugly horrible whatever .... I cannot be separated from me my world and my creator without any further noise

joy has left me - only battling with sadness and not enjoying my battle or sadness.

I have my sister Chandra - I am very fond of. she lives alone in Delhi. Her only son is in US Boston. Her husband died in 1999. Her son is another person who got married and has two children. He is another greedy person who has no time for his mother only excuses. She is living alone but this boy never even applied for her GC. in last 16 years. Last night I asked her to forget her son. He is incorrigible. I saw a film called 102 not out. Most characters from India in USA is looking to enjoy without any sense of responsibility. He must be in late thirty. He is going next month to UK with family for 3 weeks. He is going to Goa with his family again to see his mother in law. But he is yet to visit his mother once.

I advised her to forget her son. She understood.

How to be perfectly aligned with me my world my creator - answer is not lot of work or sometimes in future. Alignment is now at this moment - sufficient real and satisfying. Unless I climb the boat alone i shall miss the boat of happiness now for sure. I cannot miss this moment for sure.

I am already in this moment of happiness but i cannot take another person who is not there. it is sadness!


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